Get Your Filthy Stinkin' Robot Paws Off Me, you Damned Dirty Ape! (with apologies to Charlton Heston)

If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the faint cries of the late Charlton Heston as he sobs "YOU DID IT... YOU FINALLY DID IT!!" Ok, so I'm NOT talking about a Planet where Apes evolve from men, but I did see a news story on Thursday that is deeply disturbing... Scientists at the University of Pittsburgh have created a "Robo-Monkey," capable of using it's mind to move a robot arm. The video speaks for itself:


Where there ARE enormous implications for improving the lives of amputees, quadriplegics, etc... I am VERY concerned about the proliferation of Robot Monkeys... If they can use their brain power to eat a marshmallow, can more sinister thoughts be far behind?
And what if this innovation were to fall into the wrong hands.. er, um.. PAWS? Can you imagine where humanity might be if Oliver, the Tupelo Monkey were to come into possession of this technology?!? The little guy is already a master at picking locks and self-trained in escape and evasion tactics... with a robot arm or two, we might easily lose Mississippi to an army of advanced primates... led by this little guy:


or, God forbid, one of these guys:




Robot Monkees... that IS scary!

Wow... all this monkey business (sorry) has almost made me forget about the really important issues of the day, like Severe Weather, what to do with Florida and Michigan's delegates, and the need for better toilets in outer space... I'd better lie down now.... (did anyone else just hear a whirring sound coming from the fruit basket in the kitchen?)

And You Think YOU Have Problems!

SHOW OF HANDS Please:
How many times has this little scenario played out? You live in what could be modestly described as a "starter home..." not a lot of room, but big enough for the 3 of you to get by ok... You're expecting company this weekend, (seven folks!) and OOPS! The ONLY TOILET in your home is NOT WORKING!!
(Alright... you can put your hands down now.)

As bad as this can possibly be, what would be the only way it might be worse? The answer is this: Your "Starter Home" is the INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION. Your only (Russian made) Toilet is on the fritz... and the Space Shuttle will be docking this weekend with 7 more "poople.. er, um..People." What DO you DO? I know... see if the guests can stop somewhere and pick up a plunger or sometime! Well, that is exactly what the fine folks at NASA are doing... they're trying to find room on the shuttle to add spare toilet parts for a "Roto-Rooter" job 230 miles overhead!

Now granted, imagine your house guests are arriving in an RV... (sorta like the Shuttle) There is a fully-functional "Made-In-The-USA-by-the-lowest-bidder" zero-g toilet on board, plus a smaller (Soviet era) chemical toilet on the Soyuz escape capsule. (Think camping potty)

Astronauts have come a long way since the days of the Mercury (pee-in-your-spacesuit) and Apollo (glue an adhesive bag to your butt and pray!) programs... but they're going to have to go "Old School" in the "Waste Management" area for the next few days.

So, the next time you're plunging the low-flow toilet, remember: Things could be much, much worse.

(and watch out for Blue Ice)

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