Thursday, May 29, 2008

And You Think YOU Have Problems!

SHOW OF HANDS Please:
How many times has this little scenario played out? You live in what could be modestly described as a "starter home..." not a lot of room, but big enough for the 3 of you to get by ok... You're expecting company this weekend, (seven folks!) and OOPS! The ONLY TOILET in your home is NOT WORKING!!
(Alright... you can put your hands down now.)

As bad as this can possibly be, what would be the only way it might be worse? The answer is this: Your "Starter Home" is the INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION. Your only (Russian made) Toilet is on the fritz... and the Space Shuttle will be docking this weekend with 7 more "poople.. er, um..People." What DO you DO? I know... see if the guests can stop somewhere and pick up a plunger or sometime! Well, that is exactly what the fine folks at NASA are doing... they're trying to find room on the shuttle to add spare toilet parts for a "Roto-Rooter" job 230 miles overhead!

Now granted, imagine your house guests are arriving in an RV... (sorta like the Shuttle) There is a fully-functional "Made-In-The-USA-by-the-lowest-bidder" zero-g toilet on board, plus a smaller (Soviet era) chemical toilet on the Soyuz escape capsule. (Think camping potty)

Astronauts have come a long way since the days of the Mercury (pee-in-your-spacesuit) and Apollo (glue an adhesive bag to your butt and pray!) programs... but they're going to have to go "Old School" in the "Waste Management" area for the next few days.

So, the next time you're plunging the low-flow toilet, remember: Things could be much, much worse.

(and watch out for Blue Ice)

4 comments:

MistyJo said...

LMAO! Great blog, Todd. *clapping hands* I never thought about the potty business for the astronauts. I guess I just thought that there was A LOT of shit floating around in space...by the way, does the space shuttle come equipped with wipers? Also, do the monkeys have to test the plastic bags glued to the butt or is there an employment opportunity for that job? I'm thinking this may be the perfect job for my brother. He's been known to be full of shit upon occassion. ;-)

MistyJo said...

BTW...I added your blog to my favorite links on my blog. :-)

Anonymous said...

thanks, Todd. Now I gotta poop!

Todd said...

Thanks Misty... sometime, I need you to explain to me how to add links to your blog... (kinda slow sometimes)